You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
