We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
