You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
