that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
