Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
