he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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