How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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