here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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