When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
