Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
