i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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