Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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