took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
