JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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