just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
