After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
