With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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