I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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