My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
