Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
