just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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