just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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