Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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