Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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