i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
