Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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