Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
