Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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