You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
