Your tits are I can't wait for
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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