Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
