Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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