We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize