? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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