there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
