Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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