You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
