Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
