He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
