It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
