just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
