She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
