Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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