So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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