Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
