he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
