my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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