dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
