If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
