Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
