I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize