I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
