I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
