it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
