I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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