Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I party with great urgency now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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