Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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